Newsvandal

Chiquita Bananas of Death

Bananas of Death. Every time you eat a Chiquita banana, you are eating a blood-stained banana. Is that too hyperbolic? Well, although it has been generally ignored by anything but the business press, eight executives of Chiquita Brands International admitted to paying $1.7 million to right-wing paramilitary death squads in war-torn Columbia during a period [...]

Sheikh Your Booty

It’s an elegant dance, the Texas Two-Step Side-Step. So far, Dubba-You’s Administration has danced around some of the most pernicious scandals in presidential history. Enron. WMDgate. Abramoff. The Department of Interior. Plamegate. And can you believe Halliburton is still the largest contractor in Iraq? It’s sorta impressive when you think about the things they’ve gotten [...]

So, two Hominids walk into a Singles Bar with a Gorilla…

Comedy words. Those words that are inherently funny, no matter the context. Just think about it: blob, poop, retard…all inherently funny. Genital Lice…that’s a “comedy word.” Or, more specifically, a “comedy phrase.” Gential lice are funny, unless you get them. Not that I have…but could you imagine one of these clamped to your dangly bits? [...]

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