Newsvandal

D.U., D.C. and Me

Posted on | January 31, 2007 | No Comments

Two times. Two damn times I’ve tried living here in the “greater” DC area. Both times? Smacked. Smacked hard. Smacked down…and I’m not even part of the World Wrestling Federation!

And no, you don’t want me to put you into the “Camel Clutch.” Or do you?

It’s hard to fully describe my feelings about this place. You know what they say about a picture:

Yeah, that sums it up. The hard part is that I don’t know which one of those people I am in the grand scheme of things! Someone’s getting F’ckd…and it does seem to be a cluster, doesn’t it?

You see, I have this sense that this place is cursed. I mean…really, really cursed.

Could it be the upside down pentagram built into the street layout by the Freemasons? With the White House at the base of the pentagram?

Perhaps.

I am often bedeviled by the suck-ass elitism, the total lack of competence in every aspect of life here…and overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen to me. Soon. Again.

Or maybe it’s the satellite photo:

No…actually I think it’s that I’ve got the hottest story in the world…the use of depleted uranium ammo by US ( as in me, you and the military that is fighting to “preserve our freedom”), and the serious health and environmental hazards it poses. Birth defects. Gulf War Syndrome. Illnesses and death for returning troops, just like the first Gulf War. I’ve got proof the Pentagon (notice that Penta thing again?) is lying. They know that DU kills and kills and kills.

And Iraq? That place is, to quote someone I interviewed, “A living hell of radioactive contamination.”

And I can’t get anyone to give me the money to tell it. Now, my former employer gave me 2 minutes and 40 seconds to tell a huge, important story.

The 2:40 story sucked, by my standards.

But, I just heard, they are submitting it to the Edward R Murrow Award as part of their campaign to get an “excellence in journalism” award for the entire news operation! I guess it’s supposed to counter the murder du jour crap they shovel every night.

Why are they bothering? Just because we said “DU” on air? Even though they have an 18 minute piece that nails the Pentagon, but they refuse to air it?

I guess this is part being in DC…admitting that we can’t seem to stop this:

I guess it all comes back to the beginning…somehow I need to figure out how to fit into the cluster.

And, after I’ve shot my wad, move back to the land that I love.

I love you, California.

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